Boys Cry Too

21 Oct

I hope that all of you got the chance to see Tyler Perry on Oprah yesterday discussing his childhood abuse and sexual molestation.  A man so singularly successful with what most people envy (money, a successful career, fame) still had to come to grips with the abuse that he suffered and ultimately the lasting effects it had on him.

During the show Perry described being severely beaten by his father, emotionally abused, psychologically tormented, molested by neighbors, a member of his church, and a mother of his friend. He said that he was taught at an early age not to tell because when he tried to be honest with his mother about the abuse, it only got worse.

How many of you have “learned” the same thing? That being honest with parents or people has only made things worse? OR something even more prevalent in our community: it is skirted under the table.  Considered taboo and not acceptable to talk about.  Abuse can manifest into an array of maladaptive behaviors in a victim, not to mention serious mental distress.  Tyler Perry said that he was inspired by Oprah to begin to talk about his battle with abuse and sexual molestation by her willingness to share her story.  The two of them, I’m sure, have touched millions of people with their openness.  You cannot begin to heal pretending that everything is okay.

When the danger is gone, what keeps you from talking?

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One Response to “Boys Cry Too”

  1. laneeke October 26, 2010 at 1:21 pm #

    The danger may be gone, and we may be grown now, but *especially if the abuser is still alive* we still in the back of our mind think they can still get us. Especially if we ever must be in contact with that person, my 24 year old self will turn right back into the 4 year old child and be terrified. Mentally that danger still exists, and just like Tyler said, we were trained not to tell. That stays with us like saying “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am”

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