R.I.P. Black Love

29 Oct

If we listened to everything perpetuated in the media, we might actually believe that relationships between back men and black women are not only endangered but extinct. This is just simply not the case. Believe it or not, some black men *gasp* actually like black women. But wait! There’s more! Some black women are capable of keeping a man!! *clutches pearls*

Now, is there anything wrong with interracial dating? I have my opinions, and you are welcomed to yours. This isn’t a question of is it wrong, its a question of why is it marketed so heavily? When was the last time you turned on the television and saw a happy, functional black couple?

There are books and seminars telling black women we suck at keeping a man. Well if that’s so why do you keep pushing us to white men? Are they easier to keep?

In an article called Why White Men Love Black Women, its said that, “you don’t have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, some white guy will find you too (source).”  Does this mean that a black man requires a black woman to sacrifice parts of herself?

If you are familiar with the lovable train-wreck television that is Real housewives of Atlanta, then you know that star Sheree Whitfield is currently dating psuedo-“Dr.” Ti-Ye Muhammad and he was featured on an episode hosting a seminar telling about a hundred black women in Atlanta why they don’t have a man.  Telling these women that they did the wrong things in a relationship.  Where are the men???

Isn’t this the problem??? I, as a black woman, cannot work on US without the other half.  If the woman is “improving” then who is talking to the men about doing the same? And when do we get together and work on US as an US?

Is anyone else discouraged about dating? The media will have you believing its hopeless, and if you find a good black man then you need to do everything possible to keep him because he’s as rare as the hope diamond.  Can anyone revive black love?


9 Responses to “R.I.P. Black Love”

  1. laneeke October 29, 2010 at 4:20 pm #

    I don’t have a man. I also do not buy into the whole “there are no good BLACK men left” thing. I know LOTS of GOOD Black men. They just aren’t for me…great friends, but we leave that line alone to be uncrossed. I am not discouraged at all, I am more so seeing my failed relationships as opportunities for me to work more on self and realizing they are simply not the one I am intended to be with. I’ve never thought twice about dating a man outside my race. I’m not against others doing so, I just don’t feel it is for me. I love my Black men. I think Black Love as we used to know it will live again…all history ever does is repeat itself, so the time HAS to come around again right? I’m hoping sooner than later.

  2. Miki M. November 1, 2010 at 4:11 pm #

    If there is anyone single who doesn’t choose to be, I believe it is because a lot of women AND men do not know how to date. It has nothing to do with someone being a bad catch, because I believe that there is someone out there that will encourage you to be the best person you can be, so every Black man has the potential to be a good one. As a generation, generally, we have not been properly taught the rules of courtship. It sounds old fashioned, but those rules work and they work for a reason. I am a Christian woman and I believe the rules are laid out in the bible. It has nothing to do with losing your independence, men and women are created different and must treat each other accordingly. If you are a Black woman who prefers a Black man, treat ALL Black men with honor and he’ll with out a doubt show you love and respect back. Now a fine, 6’4″, well built one who looks like your favorite (Insert celebrity here)_______________, that’s a different story 😉

    With that being said, ladies, if it isn’t working out with your chosen Black man, find another. Don’t believe the hype. There are plenty.

    And for the record, I looooooved interracial dating. It’s too many fun people out there and too many things to learn to restrict yourself.

    • Jess J. November 1, 2010 at 4:19 pm #

      I agree with you, Biblical standards lay it out quite nicely. But, I disagree that it isn’t due to the “independent” woman thing as well…man is the head of woman God is th head of man, right? I’m not saying cower to a man to keep him, but not throwing it up in his face that “you don’t need him” isn’t the way. I don’t mean independent in the pure sense of the word but more the culturally slanted use.
      Interracial dating is another blog altogether!

      Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

  3. Miki M. November 1, 2010 at 9:44 pm #

    Jess J, absolutely right on the “independent” point. Biblically speaking. In a marriage it will be no problem to submit to your husband because he is making faith led decisions that will be in your best interest as well as making you his first priority. Being a wife also means that he is not to do anything without your support as well, so one needn’t fear about being rendered useless in a successful relationship.

    On another note, everytime I hear a rap song about an Independent woman I die a little.

    • Jess J. November 1, 2010 at 10:09 pm #

      …and that’s the “independent woman” that I have grown to really loathe.

  4. Ty November 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm #

    Simply put, men do not stay where they are not needed. keyword: ‘Needed’

  5. foreverloyal November 17, 2010 at 7:53 pm #

    “Isn’t this the problem??? I, as a black woman, cannot work on US without the other half. If the woman is “improving” then who is talking to the men about doing the same? And when do we get together and work on US as an US?”

    If you feel that no one is talking to black men, and wonder when “we” are going to get together and work on “us”…. then the only question is how long you are willing to wait. Months? Years? Decades???

  6. foreverloyal November 17, 2010 at 7:54 pm #

    off topic: cute photo for this post.

  7. VINCE C WOODARD May 31, 2012 at 9:34 am #


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