You are who you attract

4 Nov

About two years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to the notion that  ‘You are who you attract.’ At first I pondered its accuracy and kind of let it marinate a bit.  What I took from it was, I needed to be the kind of person I wanted to be with.  So if you want someone who is financially responsible then you need to be that, if you want someone who is honest and trustworthy, then you need to be that.  Why would you expect something of someone and not hold yourself to the same regard?  Its not fair to create impossible expectations for a significant other that you are not or aren’t willing to be.

Your relationship mirror should be just that.  When you look into your partner you should in essence see a reflection of yourself.  Your morals and values should be in align, your ethics and beliefs. Thats not to say that you should be looking for someone who is exactly like you, its just to say that at your core the person you attract is a reflection of that.  So if you’re in a relationship where your partner is cheating and disrespecting you, repeatedly offering excuse after excuse. Look in the mirror and figure out why is it that deep down you don’t believe you can do any better and that’s what you deserve because in essence thats what’s happening.  You are getting abused externally and internally, something is lacking and its projecting all over your relationship.  Look in the mirror and study your reflection and make a conscious decision to change what is staring back at you.  Its the one thing that never lies, the mirror.  Its the one thing that you can’t laugh your way through, charm your way though, ignore or distort.  You can’t hide from yourself.  Life is a hall of mirrors and the way you feel about yourself is reflected in or women you date, friends you choose, jobs, even how you dress says something about your self perception.

Not only that, but people gauge how to treat you based on how you treat yourself.  There is a reason that people develop a “type,” its because that type tends to be the same kind of person on the inside, underneath all the layers and at their core.  In a way, this notion was liberating.  It meant that in order to find my Mr. Right, I just had to be the kind of woman I wanted to be.  That takes a lot of work-yes, but regardless of if you find a man, you’re getting to know yourself, love yourself, make the necessary changes, and grow in ways you may have been hesitant about previously.

I chose this picture, because even though Naveen was a frog, and Tiana wasn’t really a princess, at their cores they were what one another needed.  Aside from the obvious physical state of being a frog, and Tiana in costume, it went deeper than that.  To their wants for life, for themselves and for each other. When they got real, they got together, and that’s a beautiful thing.

Do you agree with this notion? Do you find your core reflected in  your partner?


2 Responses to “You are who you attract”

  1. GG November 4, 2010 at 5:59 pm #

    This post triggers a lot of things for me. I remember my journey to understanding this. This aspect of the law of attraction is so fundamental that we are often completely unaware of it. I remember the first time this concept was introduced to me and it felt true, but it took me awhile to wrap my mind around it and analyze how this was playing out in my life. Life most certainly is a hall of mirrors, isn’t it? Once we learn that people treat us the way we teach them to, we really can’t continue to claim to be the victim any longer, can we? And when we are able to see through to the core of ourselves and know what we need, what our boundaries are, what brings out the best in us – only then can we reflect that honestly and unapologetically to attract the right person.

  2. Mrscurvy November 4, 2010 at 11:40 pm #

    This is so true. About 7 yrs ago I had to actually sit down and put all of this into perspective. Once I did and made some changes about myself I noticed a big difference in life and could actually embrace happiness. Such a great article!

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