Head First

1 Dec

About a year ago, a friend of my was told, “when you get tired of running into that wall, you’ll stop.”  It was one of those things that stuck with me, because its a pretty accurate description of repeated mistakes.  Far too often we mistake being stagnant for being comfortable.  That job is comfortable, that boyfriend is comfortable, that friend/weight/meal/outfit/etc is comfortable.  Even when it ceases to bring us any joy, the comfort in it and the nostalgic longing for the joy it used to bring keeps us running back.  Trying to climb over a brick wall, is a mighty tough effort unless you’re Spiderman.  Well, how do we stop?

The way that I think about it is, that there’s no way around this wall but over it.  The next thing I think is, if the wall is bigger than me, I must simply become bigger than it.  Where does the fear come in? Well, to some degree the comfort (even in pain) is fear of an unknown alternative.  What is beyond that wall? I don’t know.  Next, fear begins to release doubt.  But the wall is stronger than me, bigger than me, taller than me, miles long, inconquerable!  With a mindset like this, you’ll never get over.  I often laugh in sessions when I point something out to a client and they respond “Yes, but…” because it means they are not ready to receive whatever it is I just said.  That “but” is doubt.  They are smaller than the walls they face.

Becoming bigger starts in the mind.  For me, it begins with questioning my thoughts about the wall.  Who said it was bigger? Stronger? Miles long? Inconquerable?  Did the wall tell me that? Did my family? Did society? Then I think, surely I am greater than a pile of bricks. I remind myself of my strength, the stretch of my influence, my inconquerability.  Then, when I turn to face the wall with all of my hulk strength ready to run head first and blast through it, I notice that the wall is but a mere pebble in my walk and so I step over it.

How do you conquer the walls in your life?


2 Responses to “Head First”

  1. Nikita Mitchell December 9, 2010 at 3:23 am #

    I just hit a brick wall in my life last week. One that I’ve been smaller than for about a year now, six months of which were no longer truly comfort b/c it involved so much pain. I was so angry at myself for so long for not being able to get over it even though I wanted to so badly. While it hasn’t been long since I decided to cut this person out of my life, I’ve truly decided that I CAN be bigger than the wall. I literally just got tired of hitting it. No more. No less. It’s the strangest thing really.

  2. Jess J. December 9, 2010 at 4:06 am #

    That’s generally how it goes; its impossible until its easy. I used to be really good at cutting people out of my life, but the thing was I was still hurting. I had to learn how to heal, and if that healing meant they were no longer apart of my life then so be it, but once you heal they can’t hurt you anymore and their presence has no bearing on your joy. Indifference; that’s the hardest thing.

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