Mom to Mortal

11 Dec

As we grow up, there comes a time when we realize that our mothers are people.  It seems that a lot of my friends have been learning this lesson as well.  When we were younger they were this superhuman being that could do anything.  They loved us, supplied all our needs, gave us comfort support and advice; they gave us everything. Then one day, we grew up and our needs aren’t so simple and they can’t fix everything, and perhaps they aren’t the comfort, support, or wisdom that we crave.  Mom has her own things going on in her life, she doesn’t shield us in the way she used to.  She cannot protect us from heartbreak, sour friendships, or bad jobs.  It seems that time is kryptonite.  Its like seeing the man behind the sheet…she will never again be what we thought she was.

Or, maybe they didn’t comfort us, support us, advise us.  Maybe we thought they should, we dreamed for them to, we prayed for them to and they just…didn’t.  Mom became mortal much quicker for those girls.  Sometimes this is even harder because we have to grieve a dream, an ideal.  This dream that we saw on television or in the homes of our friends.  In every encounter with our mother its like reopening a wound that may never heal. She will never be what we want or even need her to be.

I don’t necessarily fault the moms, as they are people who make mistakes just like the rest of us.  They may do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, not do enough or even do too much.  The thing is, as is with all things, we have grown to expect exception and yet for our own well being we must learn unconditional acceptance.  To begin to accept her, faults and all is perhaps one of the hardest things we will ever come against in our lives.

Have you reconciled the ideal with the real in  your mother?

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