5 Apr

Everyone, I’d been telling a friend of mine, is attracted to light. Sometimes we wonder why the wrong men or the wrong people always find their way into our lives. We think we’re living right and doing good things, and all of a sudden here comes someone ready to take advantage, manipulate, emotionally rape and berate us.  WHY ME??!!?! We look in the mirror and plead with our reflection, like some part of ourselves unknown will answer with understanding and insight.  We wait for something to soothe us and make us feel whole again after we’ve been spiritually shredded to pieces.  We cry, and we bargain with God.  God I do the right things, where is my partner? Where is the one YOU have created to cherish me?  We cry in that mirror until we grow sick of looking at ourselves. Disgusted with the reflection we get up and continue living life afraid to open up. Stuck in pause right in the middle of our pain because we were too exhausted to keep staring in the eye of ourselves to come to any viable conclusion.

Everyone. Is attracted to light.  When you have something, happiness, joy, peace, passion, love, you soar.  You show it to the world in everything you do.  You radiate your goodness and you become a beacon.  Why do you keep getting no-good mates? A better question is why do you only see the no-good ones?  I am a firm believer that good things come to those who wait.  There’s a reason food taste better from the oven rather than the microwave, and really isn’t a crockpot the best?  Just because a certain type of man is approaching you, it doesn’t mean you have to entertain him.

I have a friend that keeps dating men that don’t want to date her.  They say they do, but their actions clearly say otherwise.  I asked her recently, very absentmindedly, why she keeps dating men that aren’t ready to date her?  She said, very honestly, “I don’t know.”  I get it. Lonliness is not my company of choice on a friday night either.  However, would I rather be lonely than with someone who can’t fulfill me? Yes.  When I love I give everything.  I love totally.  So does my friend.  She even moreso than I.  It is devastating to give 100 and be willing to settle for 50 yet only receive 30.  You just hope, pray, cry, plead, wish, BEG for that 20…just show me 20 more and I’ll know you’re trying.  NO! Why should anyone be allowed to give half of what you are worth?  Love is not an auction and I am NOT on sale.

Light. Everyone is attracted to it.  But it isn’t for everybody.  My light shines for me.  I share my love with a man who cherishes me and loves me in ways I’ve only just learned to love myself in.  He walks with me. He supports me.  He keeps that light, not for himself…he has his own, but for me.  When you find that…when you find someone who is so selfless in their love for you, that you don’t let go easily.  That kind of love won’t have you sitting in the mirror wheeling and dealing with our maker.

Understand this…if nothing else. You have a light. It is worth every impossible effort, every grand gesture, and every silly love song.  Don’t let them steal it.  Don’t dim for them.  Don’t give it away.  Don’t let anyone suffocate you and put you out.  Please…just shine.



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