Keeping what’s yours

2 May

Things happen. Things that are often beyond our control. Things that can hurt, things that can harm, things that bring sadness into our lives and the lives of our loved ones. What are we supposed to do with all those things we don’t want?
Saturday afternoon I was over the moon elated; graduation was but a mere week away, my plans were set firmly in place and I now had everything that I needed for the following weekend. Saturday night, however, here come the things. Bad things came, and invited over their friends worrysome things who showed up with irrational things. None of which were welcomed in my home, so what did I do? I chose not to entertain them. I’m not sure if this is what some people might refer to as having victory over a situation or not, but I feel victorious. Being an emotional person and a being that cares very deeply about…well everyone, I usually ingest other people’s hurt. I take in the bad things and all their +1s allowing my happiness to play host to destruction. No more. Yesterday I kept repeating my mantra: “Breathe. Yield to God, always. Answer with love. Remember your purpose is written, as are all things.” Over and over again I said these words and took deep breaths, exhaling out every Thing I did not claim as my own.
I am not numb to the hurt, I feel it, but I refuse to take refuge in it. Where would my joy go? Would I give away my smile to appease a tear? Not when that tear does not belong to me. The Things that happened, they are not my Things and I, for once in my life, did not let them become mine. There’s a line in Ntozake Shange’s chorepoem For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Was Enough that says “now you cant have me less i give me away”. I believe that to be something of a gospel. A warning to all the Things.
I am mine.

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One Response to “Keeping what’s yours”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. What’s mine is mine « Sincerely, Jess - May 2, 2011

    […] For the sister post of this one click HERE […]

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