I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.’ — Dr. Maya Angelou
My two favorite things are love and freedom. I appreciate this quote so much because what I see is that they are one in the same. I was watching Country Strong last night and at one point Gwenyth’s character Kelly said, “Don’t be afraid to fall in love, its the only thing that matters in life. Do you understand what I’m saying? Fall in love with many things.” How novel, I thought. To have the freedom to explore this world as thoroughly as you possibly can and to indulge the passion that calls you from each corner of existence.
The other night Deeds asked me what I believe in. I said ‘truth’. He said he didn’t think that ‘us’ would be apart of my answer. I found that peculiar. I wondered why then, if he didn’t think I believed in us, did he continue to stay with me? He later said that it wasn’t that he didn’t think I believed in us, he simply thought that’s not how I would answer. I think that the specifics of what I believe in may be ever changing, growing, and evolving due to my devotion to truth. What was right for me at 21 is not right for me at 27, and what is right for me now may not be at 34. I promise myself that I will never be too afraid to let things go that are no longer serving to make me better. Be it people, places, or things.
If you see me getting smaller, I’m leaving, don’t be grieving, just gotta get away from here. If you see me getting smaller, don’t worry, and no hurry, I’ve got the right to disappear.~Kelly Canter (Country Strong)
I hated what happened to Kelly in that movie. I saw it coming. When she spoke of the stars. I have to say that it was excellently portrayed because I saw the longing and the romanticism of the freedom that “living on a star” promised. I see it, I saw it in my clients, I’ve had that look myself. I think now that I understand life and love a little bit more I see that we don’t have to die to be free, we just have to let this world go. Isn’t that essentially what suicide is?
So I’m learning to let go of this world. The more I let it go the more heaven moves into my heart, and the closer I get to living on my own star. I realize I must operate in and apart of society, but I answer and am responsible to a higher power. One that regards love and not power (or respect or success or fame or physical stamina or sexuality etc) as the guiding light.
The more people I meet that are like me (and there have been a lot recently, I questioned aloud whether the universe was preparing for something as so many of the free have been appearing to one another, then laughed because if I felt it was true then of course it was. Of course something is coming) the more I hear “let go”. It’s like God is sending angels that whisper to everyone, but most are too concerned with the buzz of life to hear it. So he sent natural disasters, he sent a financial crisis, he sent famine and poverty so that we can let go of what we think we know, of what we think is important and be HERE in the now and take care of one another. Love one another, and not in a promise, but in this now and present moment.
It’s no secret that the ocean is my healing place, and seeing as how I now reside by the sea I am excited to see why I have been called there. What is in store for me here, and what do I have to bring to it? Whose angel has he been preparing me to be? Do you ever ask yourself that?